Dating Apps Aren’t Keeping You from Finding Love

Could your biggest obstacle to dating success be the advice you’ve been following?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley endure the trenches of r/PurplePillDebate, a supposedly neutral subreddit where you somehow end up with advice like “Men, don’t talk to women.” Huh?

According to one self-proclaimed 10, “ugly” men shouldn’t bother trying to talk to a woman in person because they simply have no chance. After all, if no one wants to swipe right online, what makes face-to-face any different?

And boy howdy, do Harris and Dr. Liz have some thoughts.

Tune in for:

• Dating is not a business, so stop looking for your ROI

• People can sense desperation, and it’s not attractive

• How misogyny hurts both men and women

• You’ll be more interesting if you’re interested in things (genuinely interested)

• Tom Holland’s Umbrella performance is the hottest thing to ever exist

• Looks are a small part of attraction

Most people just want to make a connection. But they want to make a connection with someone who has hobbies and enjoys things. If you’ve been striking out in the dating department, take some notes. You just might have been getting advice from the wrong place.

Time Stamps

00:00 - Welcome!

02:15 - r/PurplePillDebate “Don’t Talk to Women in Person”

03:00 - Are dating apps designed to keep you single?

05:28 - Why dating apps are frustrating for everyone

05:49 - What is the “purple pill?”

06:55 - Jumping into u/WoodenHuckleberry693’s dating philosophy

09:20 - Please don’t look for the ROI in dating

12:23 - Cold approaches vs genuine connections

15:11 - Hobbies aren’t pickup opportunities

16:20 - Dating profile choices that turn people away

18:48 - Matches don’t equal dates

20:40 - Become a whole person before looking for a partner

23:29 - What actually makes someone interesting?

24:34 - The truth about dating in the 2000s

25:58 - People can tell when you’re only there to pick someone up

29:32 - Genuine conversation and connection in action

31:41 - Leaving the conversation can actually increase attraction

36:32 - Non-attachment to the outcome in dating

38:30 - Safety is a foundation of attraction

41:02 - Stop casting people in your fantasy before you’ve met them

41:56 - The charisma factor

45:51 - The wonders that seeing women as people can do

46:49 - Hobby spaces spot desperation immediately

49:12 - Tom Holland’s Umbrella performance is perfect

52:59 - Cynicism is killing your dating life

55:12 - Attraction is so much bigger than physical appearance

59:36 - Most people just want a connection

01:00:55 - Unpack your misogyny

01:08:38 - Be a person worth connecting with

01:10:10 - When to find Harris and Dr. Liz

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