Episodes

Have you heard about the infamous TikTok Voice Memo Guy? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell fill you in on all the details, some questionable twists, and their thoughts on how weird it is to schedule getting laid via voice memo. A few months ago, a guy sent a voice memo to a woman he’d gone on a date with, saying that if their second date wasn’t going to end with them in bed together, there was no point in going at all. His message points out a...

How do you react when people tell you things you wish you’d never heard? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by Evita Sawyers for a conversation about emotional responsibility, connection, desire, and what happens when people treat others like solutions instead of human beings. First, they wade through a toxic mess where a man learns that his married father is considering buying a house with a woman he’s only been seeing for four mont...

Have you ever set yourself up to get hurt, but you just couldn’t help yourself? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley are joined by the brilliant Jessica Daylover. Polyamorous since 2013, co-author of “Polyamory & Parenthood,” and founder of Remodeled Love and the Nuclear Fusion Network, Jessica brings all the insightful commentary on two poly relationship stories that…let’s just say aren’t exactly set up for success. First up, they hear from a wo...

Is it better to be in a relationship where you’re constantly contorting yourself to avoid saying “no,” or one where your partner can’t say “no” at all? Trick question. The answer is neither. In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by author, educator, and longtime member of Philadelphia’s polyamory community, Kevin Patterson. They read two stories that seem completely unrelated, but share the same uncomfortable truth: relationships stop b...

Could your biggest obstacle to dating success be the advice you’ve been following? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley endure the trenches of r/PurplePillDebate, a supposedly neutral subreddit where you somehow end up with advice like “Men, don’t talk to women.” Huh? According to one self-proclaimed 10, “ugly” men shouldn’t bother trying to talk to a woman in person because they simply have no chance. After all, if no one wants to swipe right on...

Is there a secret formula for healthy, conflict-free relationships? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley have an insightful yap session about why so many people approach dating and relationships like they’re trying to solve a logic puzzle, and why that often creates more frustration than it solves. From clients who expect their therapists to “fix them” to people who would do anything to avoid the friction that comes with being around other people...

Are some people just wired for jealousy, with no hope of changing, or is it actually the check engine light for your relationship? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell discuss Psychology with Dr. Ana’s YouTube video, “Turns Out Jealousy Isn’t Always a You Problem.” The video reveals research that suggests nearly 40% of jealousy may be driven by relationship dynamics rather than individual personality traits. Harris gets to dust off his English de...

Have you ever thought about how much saliva affects intimacy? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley are joined by Marcin (he/him), founder of Twinkle Tongue, a saliva enhancement product designed to support their body’s natural saliva production for a more satisfying and fun bedroom experience. Together, they discuss two Reddit posts, one from a woman whose headgame is literally dry, and someone else who’s really, really into spit and interested in...

Does a woman earning more than a man in a relationship make you feel some type of way? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley jump right into The Guardian’s article, “Single women are buying more houses. The men they are dating are not responding well,” and talk about what happens when women are no longer forced into needing men for financial security, and why some men are responding to that reality very, very badly. Along the way, Harris and Liz e...

We have a question for you: Do you actually want a partner, or are you just looking for someone to call your girlfriend? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell share two Reddit stories that reveal just how much the manosphere has poisoned modern dating, and the actual work it takes to build and maintain healthy, happy relationships. First up is a man who leaves his wife of 20 years for a 20-something, only to realize that putting zero work and effo...

What happens when people open a relationship without unpacking everything monogamy taught them first? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell sit down with Kristen VanKlootwyk, psychotherapist and co-creator of The Non Monogamy Card Game, to talk about the communication that doesn’t always happen in poly relationships…but really should. Then, they discuss two struggling Redditors: one man who’s struggling to find dates when his wife isn’t, and a woma...

Have you ever met someone with a punchable face…and even more punchable opinions? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell endure the pain of hearing from a man who claims celibacy taught him that he’s “too smart to find love,” and though he comes close, he never actually considers the problems might just be…him. Reading The Telegraph’s article from the man himself, Mattha Busby, they break down his actual problems in finding love (spoiler alert: it’...

There have been a lot of advancements in the adult toy industry over the last ten years, so why are toys for men and AMAB folks still stuck in the dark ages? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley are joined by Step (they/them), founder of the gender-explosive adult toy company, Cute Little Fkers, to talk about affirming adult toys for queer folks, why toys for AMAB folks have so much room to grow, and how creating more accessible toys is a good thi...

Looksmaxxing promises a simple solution: get hotter, get laid. So why are so many men following it…and still miserable? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell explore the ugly, uglier, and ugliest sides of the looksmaxxing incel communities that, unfortunately, are no longer niche corners on the internet. They break down the origins of the incel and looksmaxxing communities, why it’s gaining popularity, and how this line of thinking only leads to a ...

Is it still “support” if you’re trying to change how your partner expresses and explores their gender? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by the talented Rae Hill, a nonbinary advocate, educator, designer, and founder of Origami Customs. Together, they read two Reddit posts about gender exploration, fashion, attraction, and what it actually means to support your partner during a transition…spoiler: it’s not turning them into your per...

Has a TV show ever completely changed how you think about relationships? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) are talking about Heated Rivalry, the breakout HBO series that’s not only making waves with fans, but also with pro athletes who’ve found the courage to come out because of it. It’s even encouraging men to actually talk to each other. They break down the show from every angle: masculinity, emotional vulnerability, queer...

How detailed do you get in your dating app profile? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley kick things off with a look at r/AskWomenNoCensor, where a man asks women what they want. To no one’s surprise, men were quick to jump in with their opinions. Harris and Dr. Liz discuss the merits of listening to the people you want to date (because, surprise, surprise, there is no female hivemind), personalizing your dating profile, and showing a genuine inte...

Have you ever cared about the amount of someone’s…ahem…ejaculation? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell talk about the men who really, really care about shooting ropes like Spider-Man. That’s right. They’re talking about nutmaxxers. Fueled by the fantasies of porn and a desire for self-optimization, these men might say their “enhanced performance” is for their partners, but Dr. Liz and Harris have their doubts. Highlights of the episode: Porn “...

Episode Description/Show Notes Where do you draw the line between calling out cheaters and a surveillance state? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell dive deep (deep 😉) into the surveillance nightmare that is Cheater Buster’s facial recognition software. While their hearts go out to folks who’ve been cheated on, they also can’t overlook how this technology will 100% be used by stalkers and abusers. They chat about public call-out culture and the...

You've had some dramatic break ups, but have you ever had a relationship that ended with an album full of bangers about dysfunction, heartbreak, and anger? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley break down Lily Allen’s therapeutic divorce album, West End Girl. And I gotta tell ya, they’re so here for seeing a powerful man actually get his just deserts. They go through each song and all the raw, messy, and painfully relatable emotions. In between Ha...

If you expected a date and ended up at a Jehovah’s Witness meeting, what would you do? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell unpack the wonderfully cursed waters of Reddit relationship stories. First up: a man whose compliments feel more like insults. Then, a surprising trip to a Jehovah’s Witness meeting ended with a day of gaslighting. Join for Reddit stories, stay for: The realization that old British horror movies are just another Tuesday for...

Would you trade in your human partner for an AI chatbot? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O’Malley discuss the hilarious highs and unnerving lows of human-AI relationships chronicled in Wired Magazine. As capital H AI-Haters, Harris and Dr. Liz talk about what it actually means when you romance a robot. Get ready for: Anime goth girlfriends (AI, of course) The merits of corporate-owned AI babies The ethics of dating when your partner can’t say no ...